Baby Day!!!!

We arrived at 7am!

 Very blessed to be surrounded by great love from my hubby and dear friend KaraJo, and a great nurse who enjoyed taking pictures almost as much as I do!  She made sure we got that "one last belly pic"  and plenty of "scrubs pics" while we were waiting for doctors and anesthesiologist to arrive

Getting ready to have our baby:

 Took the Doctors a while to get things moving, so I asked for my phone and took a picture from my view:

Comfort and strength truly surrounding me:

 

                     And ...

                                                 ... Its a BOY!

Getting weighed:

 Getting "tagged" with name bracelet and security alarm

 

Getting a hat and warm blanket:

Daddy bringing baby to meet Mommy

 

 

 

 Baby's first snack ... with some positioning help from Kara, while we are still in the OR

 After an extra hour in the OR, because my non-pregnant uterus (remember I have two uteri) started to bleed too ... finally on our way to recovery all together ... the doctors, nurses, anesthesiologist and other Fairview staff were wonderful!!! 

 Dr Rice holding Baby (still un-named) and looking at my book of pictures of the other kids as newborns ... thinking he looks most like Gus or Zeke

We thought this was cool, as you enter the Maternal Assesment Area at Labor and Delivery these framed art pieces with bible verses are along one wall.

Hard stuff and Beautiful stuff

I must admit that yesterday was hard ... I am a mom of many and life must carry on ... no days off, so calling in sick. All week I've been remembering that a year ago we were joyfully expecting a baby and then on May 4th, 2011 we learned his heart was no longer beating. That day began a very sad and lonely time for me. Not many people know what to say when you lose a pregnancy ... many don't even think you have lost a "baby". But he was my baby, he was loved, he was being knit together inside of me ... I could not "forget" or "move on" as many suggested. Perhaps they were well intentioned suggestions, from people in my life who wanted to see me OK again.   Many people are simply uncomfortable with grief and sadness ... since they don't know how to walk through it they are quick to suggest ways to avoid it. But I needed to grieve, I needed to miss my baby, I needed to name him and remember his short life. I've learned from past experience that avoiding grief and sadness, is really not the answer ... it doesn't really go away that way, it just gets stuffed away in some corner and delayed, it eats away at the rest of your life. Walking through it and dealing with all its ugliness is hard, its heart breaking, but its also healing. I had to avoid the people in my life who did not want to hear my sadness, who only wanted to suggest ways to forget what was happening and then there were the many who avoided me ... my phone, my email got very quiet. It was a lonely place to be. But God works in pain, in sadness and in hours of loneliness. He led me places I never dreamed and introduced me to other moms who were walking through their grief, just like me. I have been blessed by many women this past year. These are just a few that God blessed my life with:

Sufficient Grace Ministries
Star Legacy
Anchored by Hope
Grief Journeys
Babies Remembered
Missing Grace
I.R.I.S.

 So, yesterday, on the one year anniversary of Journey's death I remembered and I visited his grave and felt such a peace ... not something I can describe on a blog or in writing,  but truly a peace.   I do not intend to "forget" ... I have 5 babies in heaven and I remember each of them, their names, their due dates, the day they passed ... but I know where they are and I know the God that comforts me and has walked this road with me holds each of them in His hand.  I will meet them one day.  I will not forget their short lives any more than I will forget the lives growing right in front of me every day. 

  And at the very end of the day ... we were blessed with a beautiful sign from above:

remembering ....

Last summer I took part in a bible study for babyloss moms. I met some beautifully strong and grieving women. The study was put together by the kind and godly women at Anchored by Hope. As a final project in August each of us created a short memorial to our angel babies. I thought I would share mine with you today, since today marks one year since Journey's heart stopped beating:

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

The PURSE-onality Challeng: Day 4

The PURSE-onality Challeng: Day 3

My favorite line in today's PURSE-onality Challenge was "anything we use to become whole apart from Christ will destroy us even as it promises to complete us"